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09 February 2006 @ 06:37 pm
my life is good.

went muddin sat.

its the best thing ive ever done in my life.

and i got bens jacket he was wearing.

i cried about it later .

but i had hxc fun.

b day was excellent.

im loving some everyone right now.

except for mrnoland who thinks its fun to make fun of me and make me his servant.


a poem i wrote.

If I had to search the stars to find one as beautiful as you, I would search everynight and none of them would do.
If I had to search millions of people to find a friend more true, my search would never end because no one listened like you.
And thought you would listen , and like those stars you shine, you had to go before us because God made you too beautiful for your time.
We know you are in a better place but sometimes we still get blue.But in only 18 years youve left quite a legacy and with it God will help us make it through.

im out
<3 *Jess.The.Mess*
Current Mood: contentcontent
Current Music: us and them -pink floyd
26 January 2006 @ 04:39 pm

i got the fall out boy cd , im addicted
especially song # 12

here recently ive been really happy

which is good :)

i miss art so much , its killing me terribly


it would be a good b day present since my b day is now less than 2 weeks away

church lock in friday .

everyone should come , there are at least 30 people gonna be there , so im hyped!

thats all


this has been said so many times that im not sure if it matters, i know this hurts . it was meant to , your secrects out and the best part is it isn't even a good one. and its mind over you (you dont) matter!
Current Mood: crazycrazy
Current Music: get busy living or get busy dying. FOB

hey kids.

hope everyone had a radical Christmas, i sure did other than being sick.

I REALLYYYYYYYYY want to see Q but alas , judy says no. :'(

so the only time i will be able to see him would be saturday at dear hollars party.

but I may not be in KY.

so thats bad.

I need a car so bad , its almost sickening.

I got the new shooter jennings CD , and I would just like to say that he is officially a shitkicker.

along with his dad of course.

I also finally got dark side of the moon, i think my life is better now.

my boyfriend didnt know how a tampon was used.

it made me laugh for a long time.

mmmmm, yellow.

makes me think of nana's

i wish my friends would call me.



mmm, nothing like finding new things that you love.


thats all



           and inbetween the moon and you the angels get a better view of the crumbling difference between wrong and right.

god i love that song.                      



Current Mood: creativecreative
Current Music: us and them - pink floyd
15 December 2005 @ 04:45 pm
me and q are dating :D that makes me really happy but at the same time im kinda worried i wont be a good gf b/c i dont like to be smothered.well idk but im happy :D i just love every one right now, especially my carl, underclassmen are the sweetest little things ever :)innocence is adorable.

so x cited bout christmas!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i love you guys!

Current Mood: happyhappy yo
Current Music: me and you and you and me (so happy togetheeeeer)!!!
17 November 2005 @ 04:50 pm
Im finding that in time everything that I have done in my pathetic fat ass life has had its dirty shit holes and I seem to fall into them all.yet it always seems like no one has my back and the only one that I can rely on is God.Some how he always pulls me out and it all seems better.Sometimes I just get so sick of everything and I know everyone does, i get sick of my friends, family, school,teachers, homework and life essentailly.I guess the only thing that helps me keep my focus deep down inside under all the fake rubbish is God. Because lets face it kids if it werent for him I would have been gone about 5 years ago.

Anyways, Ive been quite sick went through tests and all that bullshit, so pretty much what it boils down to it that it has to be ovarian cysts or something like that. Im so scared, what if they put me on birth control,I'll be sooo fat cuz it makes you gain weight. I just cant handle that I get enough shit about my weight anyways by my doctor,parents, friends, accanatces about what a fat ass I am , i m not about to hear anymore of it.

steven and i broke up, hes done a great job at making me feel like a huge bitch and i applaud him.nothing is sound in the land of jess, the more time goes on the more I question myself and who I am and why I am so dumb.

Maybe it will pass.

I pray to keep heaven and send hell away,Hang my head,drown in fear until you all just disappear...black hole sun , wont you come and wash away the rain, black hole sun wont you come ? wont you come?

Current Mood: confusedconfused
Current Music: radiohead
07 November 2005 @ 08:22 pm
I just love ppl who hate me and theyve never talked to me in their life.
its just knocks my socks off , especially when their stupid ass gf is a goth-wanna be but is never gonna -be basically because she s a whiny ass bitch who has nothing better to do than piss and moan about nothing and go hang out with the preps and they think they have reason to call someone else a goth wanna be HA! au contraire. LOL. its great really, sometimes being hated can be really funny , especially when its by douche bags who think they can get away with everything and they think they're so bad ass but they pull a prank that a second grader could get away with and they get caught. what a fucking idiot. haha. ne ways im going to the governors scholor thing tomorrow , i hope it is good. it better be.lol. other than that life is quite boring.

bye guys

Current Mood: annoyedpah haha
Current Music: wishful sinful - the doors
01 November 2005 @ 04:50 pm
high skool is both killing and corrupting me

mother is sick

sometimes i hate emotion, it can be so confusing


life is so d-u-m sometimes

i went trick or treating, it was major fun times

i love dressing up and acting like a little kid

sometimes its just easier than facing the so called " real world"

pah eff the real world , i hate that show

off to do something

all of my <3

Current Mood: confusedD-U-M dumb
Current Music: criminal - fiona apple
23 October 2005 @ 09:25 pm
sometimes i just wanna quit everything.

i went to see 4 brothers today definatly in the top 5 movies ive ever seen.

i hate fights

and i just suck to everyone except steven

sorry guys

im not a normal teenager

i can never get it all together

im the kid who would prolly forget to wear underwear if they werent next to my socks

that is all

Current Mood: moodyeek i hate tummy aches
Current Music: dont you want somebody to love?-jefferson airplane
14 October 2005 @ 08:32 pm
There is a downfall....He's scared to touch me . wow. thats harsh. Sometimes I feel like a few of my friends keep running off and leaving me
to go do stuff with other people. thats cool , i mean do as you feel i dont care who you hang out with but dont come to me pissing and moaning when no one loves you and telling me that im your best friend. I mean how gay is that ? If I were your best friend wouldnt you treat me like it ? Just a question nothing more. Me and liz went to go see josh's new truck today, how pimp man , how pimp is that ? it has a sweet stereo so props to josh man .ne ways i kinda like writing in this thing again it s a release. woot !

so I guess im gonna go now i have no more words of revelance to you all

whole lotta <3

Current Mood: boredbored outta my mind
Current Music: black hole sun - soundgarden
12 October 2005 @ 07:15 pm
In case anyone missed the bus in the past week, i am goin out with steven. i kno, jess has a bf so go ahead and pass out lol. I wasnt 100% sure i wanted to go out with him b/c he was such a good friend but now that we're goin out and we've been talking I am 100% happy that i did say yes . :-D so he burnt me a cd (led zep.2) and he told me to lisent to #4 when I went to sleep b/c he said it made him think of me i was like aww then i heard the song . here are the lyrics:

Thank you By: led zeppelin

If the sun refused to shine, I would still be loving you.
When mountains crumble to the sea, there will still be you and me.

Kind woman, I give you my all, Kind woman, nothing more.

Little drops of rain whisper of the pain, tears of loves lost in the days gone by.
My love is strong, with you there is no wrong,
together we shall go until we die. My, my, my.
An inspiration is what you are to me, inspiration, look... see.

And so today, my world it smiles, your hand in mine, we walk the miles,
Thanks to you it will be done, for you to me are the only one.
Happiness, no more be sad, happiness....I'm glad.
If the sun refused to shine, I would still be loving you
Mountains crumble to the sea, there will still be you and me.

yeah so i pretty much cried. whoa. i know. I have fallen hard and fast at this point in time i think he could break my heart if he wanted to and just shatter it into a million pieces. but i dont think he will. Josh was joking around with him saying he was whipped this morning and i was like steven you dont have to be and he said "but it's so worth it " i swear guys ive never really felt like this. im sorry for all the sappy shit you all are probably vomiting but i had to get it out and its not like ne1 reads this ne wayz .:)

so until later

whole lotta <3

Current Mood: flirtyflirty
Current Music: the lemon song-led zeppelin