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Like , any hot blooded woman, I have simply wanted an object to crave.
but you, youre all alone, youre uninvited
an unfortunate slight.

od bless alanis morisette
she saves my ass everytime

why do we keep talking if we hate everything about each other?
i ve yet to figure it out
maybe hes trying to break me down
but ive been broken for so long
nothing phases me now
bring it on bitches.
Current Mood: angryangry
Current Music: uninvited- my dear alanis
28 March 2007 @ 09:14 pm
Perhaps it's the familiarity that I'm missing right now. As I sit here, painfully watching the seconds tick by, my hair to dry and hoping that maybe my fish will clean it's own bowl.

I have far too much time on my hands and I don't like it a a damn bit. I have too much time to think, it really is killing my bliss. I must've been a bad, bad girl, cause I sizzled to extra crispy in the tanning bed tonight. It might have been a sign from God. Or the fact that I make snow look black and I'm letting my organs fry by my own free will and hard earned money. Meh.

Prom fashion Show tomorrow. oh fucking joy, let me get so excited since I dont have anyone to go with. Everyone may say " oh jess, you don't need a date!" " It won't matter, hang out with your friends, theyre the most important thing after all, *fake smile*"
Yeah, I'll do that. But wait, riddle me this, ass, will the best part be being the only one in the group with out a date, and watching all of the couples slow dance. Or wait, hold the phone, I think it might be watching everyone get shit faced drunk at the after party's and watching them make out on someone's couch. yeah that will def. be my favorite.

good lord.

And she holds the tears tight, in her eyes
cause no one needs to waste the water
she pulls her legs into her cheast
and her face only gets hotter
Maybe it wasn't serious, and maybe it wasn't love
but she's not going down with out a fight
at least a swing or a shove
she'll keep it all together,
put it under her hat
but never ever think that's the only place you're at.

the end.
Current Mood: pissed offpissed off
Current Music: don't speak - no doubt
28 March 2007 @ 05:14 pm
It has been so, so very long since I have been on here and I must admit that i miss it.
I dont feel like catching up my life to the non existant people who read this.And so,
How am I you may ask?
I am here, calm, ready to go tanning. On a deeper level I am a little bit jumbled, wondering if I did the right thing by breaking up with phillip,wondering if I am going to the right college, wondering what Im going to do about a prom date, wondering what I am going to do with my life...
Too many questions, not enough answers I say, No wonder we have senioritis.
not getting to bed until perhaps 3 a.m. or beyond, worries, drama, jobs, life.
i'll be ok. I always am.
I'll update later tonight, because I can

Current Location: in thy room
Current Mood: confusedconfused
Current Music: all the things she said- T.A.T.U.
28 May 2006 @ 02:19 am
its like having dreams eluded to you in perfect harmony , then waking up to a nightmare, trying to sleep to waste life,but ending up living to waste sleep.its at these times in my life when at 2 in the morning, slightly intoxicated and full of the pulse thickening thoughts froma recent scary movie that i feel the most alive.alive because im somewhere between "the real world" and a surreal dreamland.i can think clearly about how things are, should be and how they will never be.things will never be simple, things will never go exactly to plan in any event. why is this? because people do not live according to your thoughts, or how you think they should be. life is a constant compromise so never expect to get anything your way in any aspect of life.i imagine loving a life full of premeditated fuzzy thoughts intense lust and something to fulfill the empty spaces of human error.a constant improv of who i want to be, who i am and who i will never be constantly battle for the spotlight, which ever lays the preverbial smackdown wins my character for the day.

kiss me running, no time for love
just time for life , a push and a shove
no time for thinking just time for doing
but in the end ourselves we're losing
a cry in the night, a shot in the dark
could be saved by a flower, a nap in the park
no time for you , just time for me
a glutton for success i will never see
neither will you and neither will the world
comfort is sickening , a projectile hurl.

that is all

Current Location: arties room and errthang
Current Mood: crazycrazy
Current Music: wild n out :(
27 May 2006 @ 07:38 pm
so im at mariahs chillin and stuff, getting ready to watch some scary movies and errthang,we went to marks wedding today and sure 'nough mark dropped the ring when he was spossed to put it on ash's finger LOL wow , that is my hero for ya lol.i just cant believe he is getting married , i seriously almost cried.wow.so i am getting outta hur but if any of my friends gets their liscence come see me at work or at the crib. i love you guys to the max

<3 and peace
Current Location: riahs crib in ohio
Current Music: saw 2 annd errthang
05 April 2006 @ 06:26 pm
I start work tomorrow finally! wow exciting
so today i went to the park with pig and gran, it was actually really fun and we chilled and enjoyed the beautiful day. im happy :)

i think if you are my pal and in ky you should call me and we could do stuff


Current Location: the room yo
Current Mood: chipperchipper
Current Music: best i ever had - gary allen
28 March 2006 @ 04:26 pm
kob (kid on bus): wow , so when was the last time you had a boyfriend, a real one i mean

me : idk if ive ever really had one i mean i have , but none i cared that much about in the bf sense, most were just friends

kob: wow , i mean even ugly people can get bfs and gf s , so you must be a huge bitch and youre unattractive.


i hate myself, but you know what the kid is probably right.actually i know he is.
but is still kind of hurt my feelings...

oh well , just another day of life i suppose

Current Mood: sadwow, thx
Current Music: jewel - u were meant for me
27 March 2006 @ 05:05 pm
it will ,eventually.its what life is about man , something ive learned. and you know something else ive learned, ..be open, about everything bc you will never learn anything in life being close minded

" its nothing personal, Just bussiness"
Jess The Mess
Current Mood: boredbored
Current Music: grillz
23 March 2006 @ 04:48 pm
SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Im done with it , Its is done. my name isnt carin anymore, actually come to think of it never was . someone it gonna have to take me down to the police a ma station bc im about to go crizzazy. man o man just shut up
if i dont wanna talk to you i wont and i dont really right now bc i dont appreciate you talking about me k thanks .but anyways me and craig have gots to go watch ellen


Current Mood: complacentcomplacent
Current Music: susan not beating around the bush k thx
09 March 2006 @ 04:31 pm
today was odd
i dont really remember saying a whole lot, but i heard alot alot of bullshit drama. I personally wish some ppl would get their head out of their ass and move on, i hate drama

lol for serious man I also think ppl shoud get over that past and just move the fuck on b/c life doesnt go in reverse, ass.Alot of people seem to ask me how do you stay out of it all man?

Solution : i dont keep my head up other ppls asses and i mind my own bussiness and i dont try to jump in other peoples. with that being said, i really am trying to be a nice person and trying to be peaceful , but its hard when a 17 year old boy cant pull up his skirt and get a move on.but im trying i guess.

Liz im also rather sad for you man , i know its hard b/c hes such a tard alert but trust me on this one , hes not fucking creech.

susan, im sorry about fig, but you know he just wishes he had the disney characters bunghole. whats a fig gonna do lol

i love you guys, really

Current Mood: crazy98% cracked out
Current Music: everlong- foo fighters :)